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April 19, 2017:  A Friend in Need

April 20, 2017

A transgender friend of ours stayed with us for about three weeks recently. Although Wendy presents as male most of the time and says she’s not sure she wants to transition, she started taking hormones a few months ago without telling her wife of 30+ years. Her wife found out and kicked her out.

Wendy is staying with someone else now and is in counseling with her wife. They have a lot of work to do. But at least they’re talking. And I hear there’s been a bit of compromise on her wife’s part. But it’s gotta be difficult. It was hard enough for Mara and me when we realized she needed to transition, even though she had told me when we were dating that she might one day take that leap. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for a couple who has been living in denial all these years.

We hosted a little get-together with some trans friends the night before Wendy left our place. She made some new friends and got to party with some of her own — something she rarely got to do before. We’ll follow up with her to see how she’s doing. But one thing’s for sure: It takes a lot of courage to take a stand on being oneself. You have to walk through some pretty deep-seated fears. And Wendy is walking through hers.



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