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Feb. 2, 2017: 20 Years Strong

February 3, 2017

Mara and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary yesterday. We’re one of the few lucky married trans couples who have stayed together this long. One reason is that I knew Mara was transgender before we started dating. And she let me know early on in our relationship that there may come a time when she needs to transition. I stayed with her anyway. But even that’s no guarantee. The bottom line is that we’re soul mates and best friends. We support, forgive and love each other no matter what.

Yes, we’ve had rocky times, but what couple hasn’t? And when we have a disagreement, it’s about the things that most couples fight about, like finances and miscommunication and leaving dirty socks on the floor. But it never has anything to do with her transition. Like my sister told me when Mara (then Gary) and I got engaged, the difference between being married and being in a non-marriage relationship is that, “When you’re married you will go to the wall for the other person.” She’s right. At least in our case. And it’s worth every moment.

Here are a few photos of Mara and me over the past 20 years:





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  1. Congratulations. Yours is a very heartwarming tale. I know you both will have worked to make the marriage work, we all do, you deserve every happiness. And here’s to many more anniversaries.

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