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May 5, 2016: Family Affairs

May 5, 2016

We went to my nephew’s fiancé’s wedding shower last Saturday. It was the first time some of my family members had seen Mara since before she transitioned. Mara laid low and didn’t attempt to mingle with the ones who shun her. She knew better. She sat next to a couple of ladies we didn’t know and chatted with them.

Later, she told me that she felt a little uncomfortable because of how just a few people in my family feel about her. No one said anything to me about Mara at the shower, but I wondered if they were expecting to see an over-the-top exhibitionist guy in drag, with stiletto heels, heavy make-up, and gaudy jewelry. Maybe they were disappointed that she looked like an average woman. In fact, I don’t think anyone who didn’t know she’s trans clocked her. One of the ladies she sat with asked how she knows the bride, and she pointed to me and told them we’re married. They were unfazed.

The real interesting event will be the wedding in June. That’s when the rest of my immediate family will see her for the first time. Meanwhile, we’re headed to Las Vegas in a few days to celebrate another nephew’s 40th birthday with him, his girlfriend, and a few other friends of his. I’m pretty sure no one in my immediate family is going to that event.




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  1. Dana permalink

    I just thought I would leave a brief note. I’ve just finished reading your blog from start to finish and find it so very lovingly informative and inspiring. From your ability to handle with so much grace and humor the many challenging issues of marriage to someone transitioning, family, work and friends, to simply information regarding how you’ve managed to cope and your thought processes and things you have done e.g. So. Comfort (wish we had met as I was there as well, more at the med-psych side of the events). While it is unlikely that I will be able to transition fully and my wife has also always known since we were married (40+yrs)the issue has been always there and has been certainly rocky at times. I let my wife know you blog site and hopefully she will find it as helpful as I have and I look forward to keeping up with you two. Dana

    • I apologize for not responding sooner, Dana. Thank you so much for your kind words. Mara thought it was unlikely that she would ever transition, too; yet she did. So never say never. We didn’t go to Southern Comfort last year, but we’d like to return. I’ll post on my blog if we plan to go.

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