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Jan. 11, 2016: Save the Date

January 12, 2016

Awhile back, I blogged about my nephew’s upcoming wedding this June; that I wasn’t sure we’d be invited because some of my family members don’t accept Mara. Since then, Mara and I accepted the possibility that we wouldn’t be at the wedding. We were at peace and complete with that possibility. A few days ago, the unexpected happened: We received a “save-the-date” post card for the wedding, addressed to both of us. I was so touched. I’ve already marked it in my calendar.

This isn’t the end of the story. We know that there’s a very real possibility that those who don’t accept Mara will use her former name and male pronouns when referring to her and make snarky comments about her on the wedding day. We’re not sure what the seating arrangements at the reception will be, but I’m sure some of my family members will not want to sit at the same table as Mara, and we’re OK with sitting at another table. Family photos? If in-laws are included, then I guess Mara will be in them.

In any event, I repeat what I said in my earlier post: That day is for the bride and groom, period. And any snarky comment or other outward show of disrespect toward Mara would create a distraction from what the day is all about. I hope everyone else gets that.





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