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Oct. 13, 2014: Crush Follow-Up

October 13, 2014

I finally had a phone conversation with our friend…the one I had a crush on. I just wanted to apologize. Once I realized that it was a mistake for me to have told her about my feelings, my feelings changed to a hope that I didn’t fuck up our friendship. And once I was able let go of the attachment around being friends, it was easier to make the call.

She said there was absolutely no need to apologize. She was very forgiving, and she gave me a bit of insight about what she was going through. (Even though I was with Mara when she transitioned, it’s not necessarily the same experience for everyone who does it.)

Mara and I saw our friend recently, along with a few other friends, and she seemed a little bit awkward with me. Like, when we were saying our good-byes with hugs, it was sort of a tentative hug. I admit I was tentative too. And that’s okay.

She also talked quite a bit with Mara about transitioning, and I realized how important — crucial — it is for them and other transpeople to commune with one another. So the next day, I told Mara that, if she and our friend ever need to talk, either on the phone or in-person, without me around, I understand completely.

One final note about this: Mara is extraordinary, and I love her so much. She could have gone in a different direction with this situation, but she didn’t. That’s just not who she is. Today is her birthday, and I hope to spend many more with her. Happy birthday my love!



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  1. Happy birthday Mara .. 🙂 wishing you both best of luck and all the success in your amazing relationship .. 🙂

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