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August 13, 2014: Our First Post-Transition Wedding

August 14, 2014

Mara and I went to a wedding last Saturday. It was Mara’s first wedding post-transition. The groom is one of my best friends; we’ve known each other for 30+ years. We’ve been out to him and his bride for about two years, and they accept us.

Still, it was odd for Mara and me, because we didn’t know whether anyone else knew; and if they knew, whether they were accepting. Over the years, we met several of the groom’s other friends and family members as Gary and Mimi. But at the wedding, none of them said hello to us, and we didn’t say hello to them. It dawned on me that maybe I should have asked the bride and groom a while ago whether any of them knew about Mara and what their feelings were about her and about our relationship. But I didn’t, and it turned out to be a bit awkward.

We also didn’t dance. Gary and I used to dance at weddings. But now we are Mara and Mimi, and it just didn’t feel right for us to dance together when we didn’t know who knew about Mara and who was accepting. I did dance with the groom during the Money Dance, though. We also participated in non-couple activities, like a hat-toss game, so we weren’t complete wallflowers.

Our dinner companions were cool, too. We sat with two ladies who work with the bride; and without us mentioning that we’re a couple or dropping “couple” signs like holding hands, one of them asked how long we’ve been together. I told her we’ve been together 20 years, including 17 years of marriage. That made it all worthwhile.




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