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Oct. 15, 2013: Headed to Idaho

October 16, 2013

We’re going to Idaho for Thanksgiving. I wrote about this last week: Our niece, whose divorce recently became final, can’t come to southern California, so Mara and I are going there. Otherwise, she would be alone, since her 6-year-old daughter will be with her ex for the holiday. We’ll see our grandniece, because we’re going there on the Monday before Thanksgiving, and her dad isn’t picking her up until Thursday.

I called my sister to tell her we’re going to see her daughter and granddaughter. I thought she’d be disappointed, because she really wanted to have her daughter come to southern California. And although this is my one sibling who hasn’t shunned Mara, I wondered if she would be concerned that Mara is spending so much time with her daughter and granddaughter.

She was elated that we’re going. She had talked with her daughter, so she knew she couldn’t come to L.A. And she was very concerned that she would spend the holiday alone. I’m so happy that she’s OK with it. I’m not trying to be a hero, but it has to really suck to spend a holiday alone (or try and get yourself invited to someone else’s family dinner when you don’t know many people) right after your divorce becomes final and your kid is with your ex’s family. So we three ladies will have a small but fun Thanksgiving.

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2 Comments
  1. Very fascinating reading. I am confused though. Does this make you a gay or lesbian couple? Whatever wish you all the best for a continued wonderful life together.

    • Hi Patti. Thanks for the good wishes. Our relationship falls into one of many shades of gray. That is, it’s neither heterosexual nor homosexual; it’s transsexual. For us, there is no black and white, just an infinite continuum of shades of gray. There are relationships between trans-men and trans-women, between lesbians and trans-men, between straight women and trans-women, etc. For the record, I still like men. But my relationship with Mara, which goes way back to when she identified and presented mostly as male, has endured as he became a she.

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