Skip to content

Aug. 9, 2013: Acceptance

August 10, 2013

Mara and I went to my high school reunion picnic last Saturday. (It was actually a reunion for anyone who attended my high school in the 1970s. Now you know about how old I am.) I had heard about it months ago and wasn’t going to go, because I didn’t want to have to explain our relationship to everyone. And I wasn’t sure if we’d be accepted as a couple. But I was invited onto the entertainment team, and that’s something I love to do, so we went. I’m glad we did, because it was a chance for me to be out and proud. Not that I made a big thing about it. In fact, I told people pretty matter-of-factly, like it was no big deal.

First, there was a rehearsal two nights before the reunion, so I reconnected with a few people there. Mara was invited because she plays harmonica (she’s superb, by the way). I didn’t want to take any focus away from the rehearsal, so I kept the introduction short, saying something like: “Everyone, this is Mara. We’re married, and Mara is transgender and living full-time as a woman. Let’s rehearse!” No one really cared. And then Mara played harmonica on some of the songs, and that was the only thing they cared about.

The reunion was great. I figured people would ask me whether I was married, etc., so I just told them about Mara and pointed her out (she was on stage, setting up mics and other equipment). Again, most people didn’t care and no one judged us. One former classmate seemed puzzled, but later, when she met Mara, she was totally at ease with her. A couple of my older sister’s friends (high school sweethearts who have been married over 30 years) were there, and I had Mara take a photo of them and me and emailed it to my sister (the only one of my siblings who hasn’t shunned Mara).

Some friends of my other sister, who is just a year older than me, were there, too. (Neither of my sisters could make it.) One of these friends said my sister had told her that I’m not married to my husband anymore, without any details. So I set the friend, and my sister’s other friends, straight and introduced them to Mara. They were so totally accepting! Two of them even joined us for a little food and wine at a nearby restaurant after the reunion.

I’m really glad we went. Not only was I able to introduce Mara, but I was able to get over my “story” about being accepted myself. I was kind of a nerd in high school; very quiet. I was in school plays and musicals, but in the ensembles. I had been a very outgoing child in grade school, but people made fun of me because I was the fattest kid in the class. (Back then, being an obese child was the exception.) So, when I entered high school, even though there were people who knew my older siblings, and even though I had lost much of the weight, I just shut down. I told myself that I wouldn’t be accepted, so I didn’t reach out to people. I made a few close friends but otherwise kept to myself. I didn’t even have a boyfriend. And from this, I concluded that I wasn’t accepted. So now, I get to accept responsibility for that and move on. What’s really great is that the entertainment team wants to do more performances — fundraisers, etc. And I’m part of that group, doing what I love to do.

Advertisements

From → Uncategorized

Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: