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June 28, 2013: No More Skeletons

June 29, 2013

We inadvertently came out to three people two nights ago. When I say inadvertently, I don’t mean we didn’t want them to know; I just mean that we weren’t particularly planning to tell them, because we were focused on something else at the time.

First, a title company representative came over so we could sign the final documents for the refinancing of our house. (Yay!) So we were focused on getting that done. But Mara’s transition came up because of something on the documents that reflected her former name or identity. We needed to set the record straight, so we told her. Other than being surprised, (you would never be able to tell by Mara’s looks), there was really no reaction. The title company rep was totally OK with it.

Then, we had a conference call with a couple of people who are in a small group with us for a class we’re taking, and I let it slip that Mara is transsexual. They were surprised (they had met her in person before) but very supportive.

I posted something on Facebook the other day and mentioned “Mara and I,” forgetting that a lot of my Facebook friends don’t know about her yet. But it’s getting so matter-of-fact. For the most part, the cat is out of the bag as far as our close friends and family are concerned. So it’s time to just go forward. Mara’s mom was very accepting from the time we came out to her, but she hesitated telling her sister and other relatives. I guess it’s like having a skeleton in the closet; in her generation (she’s in her 80s), I guess people kept those things to themselves. But she finally told her sister, who took it in stride.

These days, people are out and proud. And this week, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down the part of the “Defense of Marriage Act” that denied certain federal benefits to spouses in same-sex marriages and kicked California’s Proposition 8 (banning same-sex marriage in the state) back to the lower court that struck that law down. No more skeletons in the closet. No more hiding.

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