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Jan. 8, 2013: A Major Coming Out

January 8, 2013

Mara’s company announced her transition to her office yesterday. She doesn’t go back to work until next Monday, but she has gotten a few texts and emails in support and a report that it went well overall. Today, the company will change the name on payroll, email and HR records to reflect her female name. And a letter will go out this week to the company’s clients with whom she has worked.

I’m so happy for her – and for me, since we’re such a big part of each other’s lives. And the fact that she still has her job – and her income – doesn’t hurt either. It’s so different now than it was 20 years ago when she first came out and when I first met her. There is so much more acceptance, socially and legally.

I’m at jury duty today, and we had to fill out a form this morning that included emergency contact information: name, phone number and relationship. I wrote in Mara’s name and number and that she is my spouse. I guess I’m still equivocating in a way by writing “spouse” instead of “wife.” It will take a little getting used to, after having a “husband” for nearly 16 years. But this doesn’t change my commitment to our relationship. It’s just semantics.

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