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Nov. 15, 2012

November 15, 2012

I had lunch with a family member this week. I hadn’t felt complete in our conversations since Mara and I came out to him, and it took almost the whole lunch for me to say something. He still thinks Mara has some sort of overpowering influence over me, and he said I’ve changed and I don’t have the same values that I was brought up with in the family.

Yes, I have changed. I’ve grown into being my own person who makes my own choices. I told him that every major life choice I have made was my own decision; no one pushed me or forced me into anything. I don’t think he believes me.

As for my values, they are based on tolerance, acceptance and compassion. I came to my values from many other events and people in my life. Among them was the fact that I was an obese child. Today, childhood obesity is an epidemic; but when I was a child, it was the exception to the rule. I was the fattest kid in my class and in my neighborhood, and many other kids ostracized me because of it. Later, I went to a college that has been among the top universities in the country for foreign students, so I was friends and classmates with people from a lot of other cultures, as well as with students from many religions and gay and lesbian students.

Those and other events have had an influence on my values. Or maybe it’s just my nature to have these values. Either way, they are my values, and if they are different from those of other family members, I’m OK with that. We’re all different, I still love them, and I am who I am.

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