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Sept. 26, 2012

September 27, 2012

I had a long talk with one of my nieces yesterday. She had spoken to a family member the other night (whom I won’t identify, because some of my family members have requested that I don’t identify them in this blog). The family member complained bitterly to my niece about my relationship with Mara. This family member is “concerned” about me, especially in financial matters, since we are paying out-of-pocket for Mara’s surgery. (We have been saving up the money and will not be going into debt for this surgery.) The family member also reiterated that they think I’m being controlled and called me a “snob” because I went to college. A lot of other things were said, and my niece told me she hardly got a word in edge-wise, except to say that she is raising her kids to accept others (or something to that effect).

My question is: Why doesn’t this family member talk to me, if the issue is about me? Why talk to other family members? Is there some influence-peddling going on? Or do some people just want to vent and can’t bring themselves to confront the person they’re venting about? I need to call this family member and somehow repair our relationship, because it’s obviously not working; and it really hasn’t been working, even before Mara and I came out. I did that with another family member a few weeks ago, and I feel our relationship is on the mend. I don’t know, nor do I expect, that this means they will come to accept Mara. But at least I can repair my relationship with them; and maybe, just maybe, they’ll get it that I am making this choice on my own and that I’m happy with it.

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