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August 2, 2012

August 3, 2012

I mentioned in my last post that we came out to family over the last few weeks. That includes our parents, siblings, cousins, and nieces and nephews. (All of our nieces and nephews are from my side of the family, and all are grown, some with children of their own.) Nearly everyone was supportive. The few family members who are having a hard time adjusting are extremely upset. Extremely. A scathing email, a phone call with judgemental undertones, a mother who is having asthma attacks. I didn’t even know she had asthma, because she’s very vague about her health issues, and I only found out about her asthma attacks through the family grapevine, since we haven’t spoken with each other since Mara and I came out to her last Saturday. My cousin (God bless her!) spoke with my mother and urged me to wait a few days and then go and talk to her alone, which I will.

I’m so sorry to have caused her and other family members) so much pain. It’s very difficult for them to accept that a close family member is married to a transsexual and intends to stay married to that person. Needless to say, they, who once really liked Mara, now think that she is somehow controlling me.

I am so glad we built up a support system well before we came out to family. It was the most difficult with family members because the investment is so much greater; we grew up with our siblings and parents. And we’re seeing the fallout. In the past year and a half or so, we have told dozens of friends about Mara being transsexual and about the transition, and the response has ranged from slightly awkward acceptance to enthusiastic support. We are very grateful. I have some priceless stories on how some people took the news, which I’ll elaborate on in another post.



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  1. phil permalink

    I’m glad you have taken that step of coming out to family, that’s a big one. I’d kind of expect the reaction that people who are cool with it are cool with it, but those who get upset get VERY upset. And I think that would be the case even more so when dealing with something like this within a family. Hopefully this will be the toughest part of the process.

    • Hi Phil. I just saw your comment. (I’m such a Luddite, I didn’t know you could comment on a blog. Duh.) Thank you so much. We have been pretty busy, but Mara would love to meet you and Cinnamon. So we’ll plan a day when we can come down and see you two.

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